He was scared, I was petrified.
He was vulnerable, I was naive.

Did you know you own my heart?
I've been trying to take it back lately
but you've got quite a tight grip
and I don't think you even know that.
But perhaps that's a good thing
because then you might let go
And then I'd be alone for a while.
I'm sure I would end up directionless.
Your hands have been warming it for some time
and I don't think I'd rather like
that instantaneous rush of chilled air.
So maybe just keep it for a while longer.
Maybe until it becomes burdensome
because I wouldn't want to trouble you.
It's just that for once I feel it beating
and I don't want it to stop.

fuk this

hesitation
the stutter
my eyelids flutter
fingertips shudder

You dropped your coat on the snow
and summer melted it below
buried beneath the grass and weeds
buried beneath the fallen trees

slips of paper
tucked in the lining
summer coat and winter secrets
being eaten by the dirt
that's where it all belongs

reincarnation
readaptation
move on and look straight
don't you can't turn around

Splintering strings down my spine
one by one
pulled apart with a flickering tug

I know what you do to me
day by day
but I can't help the falling

So which is worse
Living the with hopeless hope
or facing the helpless help

They're trying to help
they're trying to understand
but they don't
never have

Dunking me under the waves
breath by breath
I feel myself sink, but won't let go

I'm just your loose stringed puppet
dance by dance
under your control, wishing it reality

So which is worse
Living the with hopeless hope
or facing the helpless help

I know what you're doing
I get it, you got me
They're all right
always have been

So which is worse
Attempting to escape the unescapable
Or settling in the unsettled

So lonely

after all

this time

still so lonely

the sun

in the sky

reminds me

of what I'm not

the tree branches

whisper

they reminds me

of what i've lost

so lonely

after all

this time

still so lonely

the world turns

and the breeze

cartwheels

through my hair

the birds sing

and the fields

beckon

me to dance

head back

arms out

spinning

through the world

so lonely

after all

this time

i'm not lonely.

I grow more silent day by day

I'm worried my vocal chords will break

I'm worried of what you think of me

I'm worried to say what I believe

I'm worried these pants are too tight

I'm worried this shirt won't fit right (these words won't sound right)

I'm worried that you will forget me

I'm worried to say what I believe

All the words are torn and frayed

memories fade day by day

normal is a distant dream

I'm conscious of how soft I seem

you said you'd stay; you had to go

I don't know why; I'll never know

Hope aches here and then it leaves

I'm scared to say what I believe

Your lips

on the soft lines

of my veins

Nothing

ever can

stay the same

I'm worried it was all meaningless

I'm worried this hope is pointless

I'm worried this cycle will not end

I'm worried I let you mean too much

Days go on and I get dim

I hate these damn(/stupid) expectations

We could fall back easily

I'm worried to say what I believe

Your lips

on the soft lines

of my veins

Nothing

ever will

stay the same

I'm worried that I have lost my touch

I'm worried that I didn't mean much

I'm worried of what you think of me

I'm worried to say what I believe

Hope aches here and then it leaves

I'm scared to say what I believe

I'm worried that you will forget me

I'm worried to say what I believe

I'm worried that you will forget me

I'm worried to say what I believe.

starting out

you came to me

with broken bones

and everything

tied in a knot

around your throat

you said to breathe

you had to choke

between the cushions

died the ghost

of that knot

around your throat

you were happy

clear as day

you cried to leave

i cried to stay

pages of paper

my wedding gown

the years snuck by

without a sound

your face grew chiseled

my hair turned grey

you held my hand

i walked away

your demons fled

but here's the thing

they're still here

inside my ring

binding me

making me choke

i wear your knot

around my throat.