10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3

watch everything wash by the sea

3 3 2 2 1 0 0 0

from far above you scream down below

shadows in your eyes slunk deep in the bone

your rodiron lungs won't leave you alone

your chest is steel and your tongue is brass

gasoline not blood through your heart fast fast fast

dressed to impress or maybe to kill

mind races on while your body stays still

under the sheets your pale limbs fade

the pressure increases day after day.

your shrieks fill the air cut short by the bombs

no more laughter now all of it gone

there's no reason no rhyme no excuse for you now

put the gun in your mouth squeeze the trigger, pow.

no thoughts for the others, what you leave behind

a mess and a mass of broken tangled lines

your hands in mine and the games that we played

you threw it behind when you should have just stayed.

And in my breath I whisper
what do I need to change
so low it's inaudible to my own ears
Then I kiss the tips of your fingers
linger and walk away
You'll never know what I said
And I'll always try and forget it

Closer closer
so close
it's coming
closer
I can almost
but I can't
it's close
closer closer
I feel it
I can barely
but it's close
so close now
closer closer
it's closer closer

Full bottom lip, bit
red to perfection
the world is a screen,
a bright television.

Eyes glazed and stoned
you fall on your ass
too goddamn tired
to deal with the trash.

Your life is a ship,
inebriation the wheel,
drunk driving again
last attempt to feel.

Because I no longer remember how to be poetic.

Melancholy dreams that
lit up in her mouth
and burned all the way down in
an alcoholic inferno.

Fireflies replace the air in her
lungs; she coughs them up between breaths
with alarming regularity
and in the cold air the sparks fizz out;

silent shrieks met with
laughter and taunts and self
deprication, and fears that bubble
in through her ears and out in hiccups of light.

(By the way, I am
terrified that you love
Drugs more than you love
me.)

Love? Love is
empty houses and shattered plates
cuttlery hilt deep in the walls bleeding
ruined paper.
Love is eyes snapping open at
three in the morning the gooseflesh
crawling up your arms as the
blanket shrinks. Love is
a cold Sunday morning with
empty cabinents a bleeding
wallet. Love is
the pangs pulling your flesh tight across
your stomach, love is
the inability to swallow a single
word as your body rejects it spits it back
at the speaker like bile
it echoes hollowly, love is love is. Love is
an extended blade against your neck bleeding
the imminent threat, you fear the
possibility not the situation, love is
walking through an alley late at night
love is creeping shadows love is
claws stretching for your ankle love
is love is love is.
I love you baby your eyes are Empty the
words echo
hollowly, love is love is.

Can you
even explain yourself to yourself
in coherent words
Can you cry
Can you sigh
Can you really or can't you
As you sit by yourself
on a bench in the dark

Utterly useless
passerbyer
on my good side
quick to decide
if it's worth your time

Do you laugh
Can you laugh
If the sounds was appealing
in your chest
take a breath
it's all going too fast
Do you breathe
if you could
would you choose to still sit here
all alone
on the stone
paved stepping stone path

Utterly useless
passerbyer
on my good side
quick to decide
if it's worth your time

Look at me
With one glance and you've made
a laugh or a sigh
saw you mumble or cry

Utterly useless
passerbyer
on my good side
quick to decide
if it's worth your time

Simple gaze
complex mind
Darkened eyes
love to hide

Pretty face
crinkled eyes
sharpened tongue
full of lies

Secret past
never told
always bought
never sold

Let me in
never will
tortured soul
loves to kill

wont matter
still I talk
little mouse
loves the hawk

Hey Mr. Blissfully ignorant
You're living the life, aren't you dear?
That shagged hair hasn't done you wrong
Those tortured eyes
Your tortured friends have taught you well
That simplicity is nonexistant in this world
of teenage angst and unrelatable spirits.
How's independence going
when it's putting you on a leash
in a line towards the hypocritical masses
all trying independence
just. like. you.
It sounds great, it always has
to those unbiased ears of yours
that have really gotten you far
Haven't they?
Or maybe this whole thing is turning
and the torture is real
and the independence is bounded
and the price is too much to endure
but you can't escape, can you?
It's much too late for your doey face.
Just let me hold it in my hands
one last time before you pull the reigns
and our mistakable history vanishes.
You could've been good, you know.

Let's stick to the pavement
picking leaves like minds
looking for stars on a black blanket

Hey, it's nice to meet you
I feel like I've seen you somewhere
But it's so different know
But that's okay
I kind of like this.

So let's stick to the pavement
And to the stars
and listening like we're used to
and maybe for once we can speak
if we even know how

I have a feeling we'll learn in no time.

Carry the lumber
Sink into slumber
You seem quick chipper
For a sailor shipper.

(For the fourth album)

Slicing crystals with our fingers tips
they slip
the slice deepening with smiles
that seem worthless
and remain undeserved

Let's just jump to the stars
the scars
and let it go like liquid in hands
with no hope but sinking
quenching earth's thirst

See it clearly now?
IMprinting on your head
your molten fingers
warming my ice
I'm not good for you
but the heat is unending
let's stop and laugh
this too shall pass

He was scared, I was petrified.
He was vulnerable, I was naive.

Did you know you own my heart?
I've been trying to take it back lately
but you've got quite a tight grip
and I don't think you even know that.
But perhaps that's a good thing
because then you might let go
And then I'd be alone for a while.
I'm sure I would end up directionless.
Your hands have been warming it for some time
and I don't think I'd rather like
that instantaneous rush of chilled air.
So maybe just keep it for a while longer.
Maybe until it becomes burdensome
because I wouldn't want to trouble you.
It's just that for once I feel it beating
and I don't want it to stop.

fuk this

hesitation
the stutter
my eyelids flutter
fingertips shudder

You dropped your coat on the snow
and summer melted it below
buried beneath the grass and weeds
buried beneath the fallen trees

slips of paper
tucked in the lining
summer coat and winter secrets
being eaten by the dirt
that's where it all belongs

reincarnation
readaptation
move on and look straight
don't you can't turn around

Splintering strings down my spine
one by one
pulled apart with a flickering tug

I know what you do to me
day by day
but I can't help the falling

So which is worse
Living the with hopeless hope
or facing the helpless help

They're trying to help
they're trying to understand
but they don't
never have

Dunking me under the waves
breath by breath
I feel myself sink, but won't let go

I'm just your loose stringed puppet
dance by dance
under your control, wishing it reality

So which is worse
Living the with hopeless hope
or facing the helpless help

I know what you're doing
I get it, you got me
They're all right
always have been

So which is worse
Attempting to escape the unescapable
Or settling in the unsettled

So lonely

after all

this time

still so lonely

the sun

in the sky

reminds me

of what I'm not

the tree branches

whisper

they reminds me

of what i've lost

so lonely

after all

this time

still so lonely

the world turns

and the breeze

cartwheels

through my hair

the birds sing

and the fields

beckon

me to dance

head back

arms out

spinning

through the world

so lonely

after all

this time

i'm not lonely.

I grow more silent day by day

I'm worried my vocal chords will break

I'm worried of what you think of me

I'm worried to say what I believe

I'm worried these pants are too tight

I'm worried this shirt won't fit right (these words won't sound right)

I'm worried that you will forget me

I'm worried to say what I believe

All the words are torn and frayed

memories fade day by day

normal is a distant dream

I'm conscious of how soft I seem

you said you'd stay; you had to go

I don't know why; I'll never know

Hope aches here and then it leaves

I'm scared to say what I believe

Your lips

on the soft lines

of my veins

Nothing

ever can

stay the same

I'm worried it was all meaningless

I'm worried this hope is pointless

I'm worried this cycle will not end

I'm worried I let you mean too much

Days go on and I get dim

I hate these damn(/stupid) expectations

We could fall back easily

I'm worried to say what I believe

Your lips

on the soft lines

of my veins

Nothing

ever will

stay the same

I'm worried that I have lost my touch

I'm worried that I didn't mean much

I'm worried of what you think of me

I'm worried to say what I believe

Hope aches here and then it leaves

I'm scared to say what I believe

I'm worried that you will forget me

I'm worried to say what I believe

I'm worried that you will forget me

I'm worried to say what I believe.

starting out

you came to me

with broken bones

and everything

tied in a knot

around your throat

you said to breathe

you had to choke

between the cushions

died the ghost

of that knot

around your throat

you were happy

clear as day

you cried to leave

i cried to stay

pages of paper

my wedding gown

the years snuck by

without a sound

your face grew chiseled

my hair turned grey

you held my hand

i walked away

your demons fled

but here's the thing

they're still here

inside my ring

binding me

making me choke

i wear your knot

around my throat.

I miss sitting next to you guys
I miss the laughter
I miss the comfort
Now I'm 2000 miles away
Eight years away
An irreversible distance
And you're all still there
Together with no spaces
No creases to fill
And I would give anything
To go back one day
And have it all be the same
Just as I left it