bloodlust

im clutching my head

to hold in my brain

the words that you've said

all ringing insane

the light in your eyes

your feverish bark

this twisted doll tries

to dance in the dark

your face gives me chills

and nightmares in bed

i swallow the pills

turn myself into lead

the strings that you pull;

my will becomes dust.

im frightened you know

of your newfound bloodlust

the blood on your wrist

beats deep in my veins

i'm clenching my fist

we still are the same

the games that you play

are sucking me dry

you shirk from the day

as your wicked thoughts fly

each night you reveal

what's hidden inside

your mouth is a seal

that safeguards your lies

tongue in your cheek

and an ache in your gut

each time that you speak

i fall back in the rut

your stories are pretty

i admit that that's true

but they're getting quite shitty,

the things that you do

i have to just say it

so please hear me now

i'm through with your shit

you're done, take a bow.

Clean slate

Singing melodies in the rain

The clean slate begins to stain

Close my eyes, close your eyes too

Finally something new to pursue

You're the person

While I sleep your eyes never leave me

But as the sun rises they never meet mine

I call you the person I disklike the most

While telling myself that it will be fine

If I could talk to you for a moment right now

I’d hit your face to make up for the past

And ask for an endless amount of time

Or a moment with you that will never pass

Oh helpless grudge of mine that will always exist

Please linger for a moment but start to dismiss

Every second with you is an addition to bliss

Because I say that I hate you, but it’s you that I miss

Built for cruelty

keep the beatings coming

give me your best shot

throw me around like punching bag

purposely built for cruelty

my skin had thickened

my heart has callused

just know that you're the reason

I can keep enduring insanity

dear mother.

listen to what im saying

stop hearing what you want

such a high price you're paying

for every jibe and each taunt.

you scream there's something wrong with me

you twist the words i speak

you invent these problems; i try to see

how you think i'm such a freak.

stop imagining things that don't exist

im not as fucked as you think

im not entirely disaster-kissed;

i can float; i dont just sink.

here is my solution:

take some prozac.

Tongue Tied

as I cry the deceit out of my eyes

the tea left to comfort me

burns a hole in my mouth

leaving me tongue tied and alone

but you've gotten me use to the feeling

Descention

keep your face hidden

cover the scars

your steps become tipsy

hold onto the bars

chug down some vodka

burning your throat

blame your surroundings

the only scapegoat

pass out every morning

don't remember a thing

living this life

darkness in full swing

keep avoiding the problems

run from the pain

give up your dignity

no one else left to blame